We all know anime is a shameful hobby and as respectable college students, we must strive to hide all signs of our inner otakuness. You surely don’t want the hot chick from Life Sciences or the cute girl from Statistics and Applied Probablity to think you are a NEET with a 2D complex right? But how do we hide this unmistakably distinct stench of nerdiness? Is it even possible? Riuva teaches you how to be a Ninja otaku!
1. Make friends with people who don’t know anime. As many as possible.
Don’t shun others just because they like only Naruto or worse, don’t know who Range Murata is. It’s imperative that you gain lots of friends who do not know anime at all actually, as this is exactly like covering yourself with leaves and twigs for jungle camouflage. If your friends are all the anime-clueless sort, nobody will guess that you like the sissy Japanese cartoons. Your secret will be safe.
2. When your friends (assuming you have them since you will have followed step 1) are deciding where to eat, do not demand the group go to somewhere a) Japanese or b) maid or c) dirt cheap so you have more money for merchandise.
Normal people don’t really have much things to spend their cash on, so they foolishly fritter it away on disposable items such as food. But since we need to pretend to be normal, we must join them in throwing cash down the alimentary canal. Bear with it!! If you eat well, you will be less likely to be spotted as an otaku.
3. Set your cellphone ringtone to something instrumental.
You do not want to kill off your own uniqueness, so we’ll still keep the anime-ish ringtone. But instead of Motteku Sailorfuku, how about some classy instrumental music instead? I’m currently using Guns and Roses, the OP of Baccano, which is kinda jazzy. I was using the boss battle theme of FFVI for a couple of months. My message tone is the victory tone of FF tactics, which is obscure enough and still sound great. Generally, soundtracks and BGMs work well.
4. Set your laptop wallpaper to a logo bereft of anime characters.
I recommend the Riuva series of wallpapers, they may have anime-styled characters, but done tastefully in the RangeMurata style. A moe-mongering wallpaper of perhaps Konata upskirts is a sure sign of an otaku, so change it to something more discrete.
5. Deny knowing anime unless the questioner first identifies his cred.
You have to say the standard phrase of denial, 'What is anime? Is it HENTAI? YOU WATCH JAP PORN haha' or 'Sorry, not interested in Pokemon.' if the person who asks is a stranger or someone who does not appear to know anime. Don’t give this response if you feel the other party could be an undercover ninja otaku as well. Other ninja otakus will secretly and subtly identify their faction, through hints. For example, if I were speaking to LianYL for the first time and he wishes to confirm if I also liked Gintama, he would hum the tune of GIN IRO NO SORA, the bestest OP in the world. I would then harmonise in the same octave, thus erasing all doubt of misidentification.
6. Memorise some smokescreen hobbies to help in self-intros.
Knowing the first year of college involves lots of self-introductions where people judge you based on your hobbies, be prepared with a list of fake hobbies to share when it’s your turn to speak up. You must have extensive knowledge in these fake hobbies lest people get suspicious. For me, I normally pick 'football' as my hobby and sometimes '...